Applying the F-Word
“It would be wicked to give it a zero because it does show some very basic skills we are looking for, like conveying some meaning and some spelling.” That’s what Peter Buckroyd, a British high school English teacher, told the Associated Press after he awarded a student 2 points out of a possible 27 for writing nothing but an expletive on a test paper. The R-rated phrase consisted of two words: The first started with the letter F, and the second word was “off.” Mr. Buckroyd said that the student would have received a higher grade had the phrase been punctuated. Otherwise, the teacher felt it would have been inappropriate to give the student a zero, because the obscenity was spelled correctly and expressed the student’s thoughts. (You can read the story on FOXNews.com) I have to say that I am rather conflicted over the aspects of this little story from across the pond.
I can empathize with the student. Despite having graduated as Valedictorian from the accursed institution I attended, I largely felt that high school was an exercise in the survival of ignorance and ridiculous rules. Many times I wrote or gave answers that I knew were incorrect just to anger my teachers. My grades were extremely high and my arrogance allowed me to spend some of my discretionary GPA. However, I never assumed or expected any of my impertinent answers to receive partial or any kind of credit at all. Indeed, I expected them to be marked wrong. I expected and embraced the zero if I felt I had a point to make.
That’s why Peter Buckroyd, this English teacher, is a twit. Perhaps the student was right on a philisophical level. Perhaps the test he was taking deserved to be answered with “fuck off.” Had it been I, and had the situation warranted it, I may have responded in kind. (Of course, I would have punctuated it.) Still, there’s no way that that answer could have possibly satisfied the spirit of the test question. Therefore, it should have been marked incorrect, and the student should have received no points. Assuming that the student’s reason for his profanity was valid, he should have been willing to accept no marks for his insubordination. He should have received an F for his F. If you’re going to charge the line, you have to be prepared to be wounded.
After all, what did Mr. Buckroyd teach his student? I would take from it that I can apply “fuck off” to many situations in life and receive some kind of positive result for doing so. When examining this theory, I ask myself, “When would I like to use this two-word expletive as an answer, solution, or means to an end?” Hence, I would like to:
- Write it in the “amount” field of every check for every bill I send out.
- Write it on a little note and hand it to the cashier when pre-paying for gasoline.
- Scribe it into the “write-in” box on an election ballot.
- And scribble it along the signature line of a credit card receipt so as to tell the issuing company, “No! I do not agree to pay this amount!”
Certainly, there are dozens, maybe hundreds more examples I could give in the hypothetical use of this eloquent, poignant phrase, but I will not bore you with them. Yet, I do feel that if more people practiced this attitude with our elected officials and the celebrities that invade our media with their ludicrous policies and opinions, we could change this country into a better place…
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I think that “fuck off” should replace the accepted spoken greeting “hello”. That way one never has to say “goodbye”.
Then we’d have to rewrite that song “Hello, Good-bye” by the Beatles… “You say good-bye… and I say fuck off…”
A while back I started asking people to say “fuck off” to me instead of “god bless you,” because I am less offended by the former.
I am personally offended by your flagrant and offensive use of Carlos Mencia in this article. Please have the decency and good sense to remove it, and abstain from further usage in the future.
Oh, and go fuck yourself, while you’re at it.
The “twit” teacher is wrong. Not for giving points for the poignant phrase, but for denying points to the student for lack of punctuation. Gratuitous punctuation should not be rewarded. It’s annoying!!!!!!!!!!
The student was correct in not using punctuation. The phrase was not a sentence. It was not a compound subject. It was a noun and a verb. It had a simple meaning.
Punctuation would have disallowed the simple poignancy of the phrase. This is what the “twit” teacher did not understand. The two point grade did not reflect the true value of the message.
Give the student a 27/27 and graduate him to college. The world has enough didactic, self-rightous twits. It needs more honest expression from its future leaders.
Seraphine’s last blog post..Insolvent But Too Big to Fail
Well, Seraphine, if you want to get technical, the phrase should have been punctuated. In this case, “off” is part of the verb as in “to fuck off.” In writing “fuck off” the implied subject was “you” (the teacher, not you Seraphine). When used in this sense, “fuck off” becomes the imperative form of the verb and should therefore be punctuated with an exclamation point.
To agree with Carlos Mencia:
If words could hurt people I wouldn’t need to use a stick.
so is fuck imperative too?
because humankind is in trouble if it isn’t.
Seraphine’s last blog post…The Others are Totem Poles