High gasoline prices have affected everything from food to liquor to porn. Buying a bucket of microwave popcorn and a gallon of Mad Dog 20/20 and renting a skin flick used to be a cheap date. Now, it costs upwards of $37,000. At the current minimum wage, one would have to work over 5,100 hours to cover such a venture. But ridiculous petrol prices are not only destroying the love lives of unromantic idiots. Indeed, the raping we are experiencing at the pumps is also ruining the natural beauty along our highways and biways. Once urine free, our roads are becoming littered with plastic bottles full of pee.

“Son of a bitch!”  He had prepared one cigarette already, anxious to light it up and enjoy its robust flavor, when his camera-owning friend had convinced him to roll another.  In mid-lick, the behatted man was told to “hold that pose for the next ten minutes.”  Hence, the 19th Century pre-smoking process was forever preserved, so future generations [...]

Very rarely am I rendered speechless.  More than most of the time, I have a well timed, well spoken, intelligent, smart-ass retort to any comment of question sarcastically offered me.  Very rarely am I rendered speechless.  However, there are moments when my tongue freezes, my brain spins its tires, and I just gape or stare [...]

There are things in life that are said or done to us that change our perspective forever.  Sometimes that’s good.  Sometimes that’s bad.  Sometimes it’s just plain funny.