THE AUTHORING AUCTIONEER

And now the Top Ten (or Bottom Ten) most unsellable items at auction…

10. Ringer washers

9. Electric sewing machines

8. VHS tapes

7. Artificial Christmas Trees

6. Console TVs

5. Console Stereos

4. 8-Track Tapes

3. Encyclopedias

2. Readers Digest Condensed Books

1. Curtain Stretchers

Perhaps some of you might disagree with the order of this list.  However, every other item on it has a better chance of selling than curtain stretchers.  And in case you’re unfamiliar, I’m talking about those stretchers that are nothing more than strips of woods with tacks poking out of them.  I hate curtain stretchers.  They hurt.

So now, just for laughs, let’s look at the Top Ten most over-rated items at auction.  In other words, the following is a list of items that usually sell, but bring far less money than what some uneducated, unreasonable consignors think they should achieve.

10. Hess Trucks manufactured after 1989

9. Baseball cards manufactured after 1980

8. Used Compact Discs

7. Military uniforms from WWI to the present

6. Treadle sewing machines

5. Old Magazines (e.g. Look, Time, Life)

4. Modern ceramic/vinyl dolls (e.g. Marie Osmond)

3. Collector plates (especially Gone with the Wind)

2. Local political pins

1. JFK memorabilia

That’s right.  John F Kennedy memoribilia are the most over-rated items to come to the auction block.  Unless you have good old Jack’s golf clubs, rocking chair, or panties he took from Marylin, you don’t have squat.  JFK was the most popular president in U.S. history.  Everyone saved the Look magazines with his picture on it.  Everyone has a newspaper headlining his assassination.  So when I don’t want said items for my auction, don’t waste your time by wrapping them in plastic and taking them to the flea market with outlandish masking tape price tags.

That is all…

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