THE AUTHORING AUCTIONEER

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Would that I were a cartoon super villian. For much like “Family Guy’s” Stewie Griffin, I too have the desire to be our globe’s ultimate authority. However, not being a cartoon places a tremendous handicap upon this ambition. Because I don’t have billions of dollars, I do not have a secret chamber built into my house in which I can store the weapons, equipment, and evil inventions that I would need to commence my campaign of domination. These I would need–namely the money–in order to be a real-life despot. However, animated antagonists such as Stewie Griffin exist in a world of fantasy spawned from the tip of a pencil in which imagination destroys all impossibilities. After all, Stewie is merely the infant son of seemingly typical middle-class parents. Yet, there seems to be no limit to this young monster’s arsenal of doom.