THE AUTHORING AUCTIONEER

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Although never surpassing Hitler’s SS in fashion, Mussolini’s Blackshirts were certainly just as terrible and tyrannical. As a student of history, I thought that a black shirt could never cause as much trouble, pain, and general consternation as it had in the days of Fascist Italy. I was wrong. My fiancee started a new job. Her uniform, which she had to acquire for herself, consists of black pants, black shoes, and a plain, black, button-down shirt. The pants were no problem; she already owned several pair. The shoes proved to be simple as well. We found them in Payless. It took all of five minutes to try them on and buy them. The shirt… Well… Add a mythical power and a menacing villain, and Spielberg has his next Indiana Jones movie.